Episode 10: Lifelong Leaner
Oh this text...the text, the text, the text; it bothers me. This text makes me ask questions to which the text itself offers no response. I have to ask God
God, why did Pharoah change his mind after letting the people seek freedom?
God, why did Pharoah have to send an army to capture people who had been set free?
God, why did you choose this method of miracle? That people walk across what was the floor of the sea as the wall of water stood at attention on either side of them?
God, why didn't you let the people of Egypt just stay on the shore? Or cross?
God, why did you drown the people? Huh?
God, did you murder the people?
God, you mean to tell me that you would rather kill a whole group of people than just fix their evil ways? Huh?
God do you hear me asking you questions?
Oh, you just not gon answer me today, huh?...ok witcha Sovereign self. Don’t answer me then. But I still have questions, because this does not make sense. LET US PRAY.
Life is teaching me how to lament loudly, grieve graciously and how to pray without ever uttering a word, and to ask questions and then trust the silence of a conundrum.
According to my mother I have great faith and I know how to trust and depend on God. I was taught at an early age to have faith. But I do not get to tell the story of my faith and not tell the story of Maggie Perry Wright born in the late 1920s in North Carolina to parents who had no doubt gotten a taste of victory when Congress passed the Civil Rights Act of 1875. But that victory was short-lived as the government sanctioned violence, the looting, the rioting, the destruction and yes the murders which gave rise to the Exodus of 1879. And in a blow that would render the powerful more powerful in 1883 the Civil Rights Act of 1875 was deemed unconstitutional.
Their faith remained strong as they watched the government, led by Woodrow Wilson, institutionalize segregation in 1913.
Their faith grew stronger as this government permitted what is known as Jim Crow Laws.
Their faith remained strong as they were sent to fight in WWI only to return to be treated worse than the animals entrusted in their care.
Their faith grew stronger as the nation took 5th Ave in NY in what is called the Silent March of 1917.
Their faith remained strong during the Red Summer of 1919 where blood was spilled in city after city after city because the cries for racial equity could not be tolerated. So white supremacy silenced souls for forever.
Still their faith remained strong and was passed on to my grandmother Maggie whose faith waxed strong as she was forced to exchange a formal education for work in the tobacco fields of North Carolina.
Her faith grew stronger and leaned on scripture to learn to read and leaned on nature to discern the season and leaned on the sun and the moon to tell the time of day and leaned on the rhythm of her pulse to understand music meter.
All of that strong leaning faith was passed on to Cynthia who had faith strong enough to integrate schools as a child, become a teacher and entrepreneur as an adult, come through BOSSLady mom. Her magical hands could soothe my asthmatic lungs, help my sister with her reading lesson and play basketball in the backyard with my brother all while feeding a whole neighborhood.
Who you have standing before you today is a woman born of a woman born of a woman born of a woman who has inherited the faith of Miriam who after watching an entire army of people drown picked up a tambourine and led praises to the God who spared her life.
After everything that Miriam and the nameless women who joined had been through they found tambourines and sang praises to God? Wait. Dr. Valerie Bridgeman, the VP of Academic Affairs at Methodist Theological School in Ohio and CEO of WomenPreach! taught me at the Jarena Lee Preaching Academy in 2016 to “ask the question” and “interrogate the text.” So, this is not to be glossed over. Miriam, Aaron’s sister, the prophetess had been running for her life.
Do you think Pharoah thought Miriam’s life mattered?
He didn’t know her, so it doesn’t really matter if he thought her life mattered? Ok.
Do you think Pharoah thought Moses’ life mattered?
What about Aaron’s? OK.
Do you think Pharoah thought any of the people from Israel who were also created in the image of God lives mattered? Who’s life mattered to Pharoah?
I challenge you to search the text this week for an answer to these questions. Understand this about the journey of my faith…
I inherited the position of leaning so when I pray to God for my Black cisgender male husband to return home every time he leaves I do not take for granted that he does.
I inherited the position of leaning so when the very people that I have been called to serve refuse to say that my life matters I remain joyful.
I have inherited a position of leaning so when the ones I came to serve with are suddenly removed and resign from their position I don’t lose focus on my purpose.
I inherited a position of leaning so when a week after I arrive on a job I am forced to embrace a family into a club that no parent wants to ever join, I won’t stumble and fall. When we are asked to lay a child to rest no matter their age that forces a parent to grieve memories that will never be for the rest of their life. Losing a child can rip your soul apart, but I declare but for the GRACE of God there go I. So we lean, let Warren and Kristie testify, so we lean, let Gini and Wes testify, so we lean, let Amy and Jared testify, so we lean, let Alice Lerp testify, so we lean, let Kim and Benjamin testify, so we lean let Joan craft testify, so we lean let Ed and Nancy testify, so we lean let Ms. Lois Shaw testify, so we lean. Though evil seeks to consume me, with the Pharoahan army seeking to enslave me yet again I will fully lean into the everlasting arms of my Lord and Savior.
And so, it is from this place that I ask the God of my creation these questions, but it is only in my living and leaning that the answers may be revealed. As I lean on God I can understand what Paul was talking about when he said in Philippians 4 “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
https://www.ferris.edu/HTMLS/news/jimcrow/timeline/jimcrow.htm